How to Simplify Your Life |

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A few years ago, my life looked fine on paper — busy job, decent apartment, a calendar full of plans. But it never really felt fine.

Every day, I was juggling decisions — what to wear, what to eat, what to work on first, whether I should say yes to another project or coffee date. None of them were huge, but together they left me exhausted.

It wasn’t that my life was bad; it was just cluttered. And not just physically — mentally.

That’s when I stumbled into the idea of essentialism: doing less, but better. Not minimalism or rigid structure, but clarity. Choosing what truly matters and letting the rest go.

It turns out, simplifying isn’t about giving everything up. It’s about gaining space — for peace, creativity, and energy.

Here’s how I started making fewer, better choices — and how you can too.

1. Realize That Decision Fatigue Is Real

Every day, we make an average of 35,000 decisions. Most are tiny (what to eat, what to wear), but each one chips away at our mental energy.

Psychologists call it decision fatigue — the decline in decision quality after a long session of decision-making. The more choices you make, the more your brain looks for shortcuts: procrastination, impulse, or avoidance.

I used to think being busy meant being productive. Now I realize it mostly meant being depleted.

Simplifying your life starts with accepting that every choice costs energy — so it’s worth spending that energy intentionally.

2. Identify Your True Priorities

For years, I had a list of “priorities” that included everything from career goals to wellness to home organization. But if everything matters equally, nothing really does.

Now I ask myself a simple question: What actually moves the needle in my life?

In practice, this means having maybe three real priorities at a time. Right now, mine are:

Health (physical and emotional)
Relationships that feel reciprocal
Creative work that fulfills me

Everything else — errands, side projects, inbox zero — supports those priorities or gets filtered out.

There’s a quote from Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less that captures it perfectly:

“If you don’t prioritize your life, someone else will.”

That line hit me hard. Because when I look back, most of my stress came from letting other people’s priorities become mine.

Reading Essentialism helped me understand that simplifying isn’t about doing less for the sake of it — it’s about focusing your energy on what matters most.

3. Learn to Pause Before You Say “Yes”

If you struggle with overcommitting, you’re not alone. For years, I said yes to everything — extra work, plans I didn’t want, projects that didn’t fit. I told myself I was being helpful. Really, I was just afraid of disappointing people.

Now I use what I call the Pause Rule: I never say yes on the spot. If it’s not a “yes” after sleeping on it, it’s probably a “no.”

That small pause creates space to check my priorities before I fill my time.

Here’s the irony: I do less, but I show up better for the things I do commit to.

4. Build Small Systems That Remove Friction

Simplifying your life isn’t about constant discipline — it’s about designing systems that make good choices easier.

For example:

I plan my weekly meals on Sundays (loosely — just 3 core dinners I can rotate).
I keep a “uniform” for workdays: jeans, a neutral top, gold hoops. Done.
I automate bills and savings so I don’t have to think about them.

These tiny systems eliminate dozens of micro-decisions every day.

Think of them as default choices that protect your mental energy. The fewer decisions you make about trivial stuff, the more you have left for the important ones.

Behavioral scientists call this choice architecture — designing your environment so the easiest option is the one that serves you best.

5. Declutter, but Do It Intentionally

Decluttering isn’t just about getting rid of things — it’s about creating space for what supports the life you actually want.

When I started, I focused on surface stuff: clothes, décor, random kitchen gadgets. But what really simplified my space was asking:

“Would I buy this again today?”

If the answer was no, it was time to let it go.

Flipping through The Kinfolk Home: Interiors for Slow Living really helped me rethink what I wanted my home to feel like — calm, functional, breathable. It’s less about perfection and more about presence.

Now, my space feels like a reflection of who I am today, not who I used to be or thought I “should” be.

And yes — fewer things really do mean fewer decisions.

6. Stop Comparing Your “Enough” to Someone Else’s

It’s hard to simplify when you’re constantly measuring your life against everyone else’s.

We live in a culture of more: more productivity, more income, more steps, more skincare steps. It’s exhausting.

At some point, I realized I was chasing goals that didn’t even belong to me. They just looked good on other people.

Now, before I set a new goal, I ask:

“Is this something I genuinely want, or something I’ve been told I should want?”

That single question has saved me from countless unnecessary commitments.

Intentional living starts when you define your own version of “enough.”

7. Simplify Your Digital World Too

It’s easy to declutter your closet. Decluttering your phone? A whole different challenge.

But digital clutter has the same effect — it overwhelms your brain with noise and decision loops.

Here’s what I do once a month:

Delete apps I haven’t used in 30 days.
Unsubscribe from emails that don’t add value.
Organize my desktop like a physical space: only what I need, nothing more.

I also turned off most notifications. The peace that gave me was immediate.

We underestimate how much digital noise drains us. Your phone is a tool, not a tether.

8. Relearn Boredom

One of the weirdest but most freeing habits I’ve adopted is doing nothing on purpose.

I used to fill every minute — podcasts while walking, scrolling between tasks, emails during lunch. I was terrified of silence.

Now, I let my mind wander. I take walks without headphones, sit in silence for a few minutes before bed, or just stare out the window when I need a break.

Here’s the thing: boredom isn’t wasted time. It’s brain recovery time.

Neuroscience shows that when your brain isn’t actively focused, it activates the default mode network, which helps process emotions, solve problems, and spark creativity.

So that “blank space” you avoid? That’s where clarity actually happens.

9. Learn to Trust Simplicity

We’re conditioned to believe that complicated equals better. More features, more options, more goals.

But simplicity isn’t a downgrade — it’s an upgrade in disguise.

When I simplified my routines, I noticed I didn’t lose anything important. I just gained focus. I was calmer. Clearer. More present.

It’s like tuning an instrument: fewer notes, better sound.

There’s power in making a decision once — and not revisiting it every day. That’s what simplifying does. It creates peace through consistency.

10. Keep Your Calendar Light on Purpose

When I looked at my old calendar, it looked like a game of Tetris — blocks stacked on blocks, color-coded chaos. I thought being busy meant being useful.

Now, I intentionally leave space. I schedule white space the same way I’d schedule a meeting.

Because that’s the thing: if you don’t plan for rest, your schedule will fill itself with noise.

The result? I actually enjoy the things I do say yes to. They’re not crammed in between five other commitments.

If you struggle to slow down, this is a good starting point: leave one blank square in your week and protect it fiercely.

11. Accept That Saying “No” Is an Act of Care

Every “yes” costs time, energy, and focus. Every “no” creates space.

That doesn’t mean you have to say no to everything — just that you choose deliberately.

When I started setting boundaries, I felt guilty. Now I realize it’s not selfish — it’s sustainable. Saying no allows me to show up better for the people and work I truly care about.

If you struggle with this, try softening the language:

“I’d love to, but I’m at capacity this week.”
“That sounds amazing, but I need some downtime.”

You don’t owe anyone an overextended version of yourself.

12. Let Things Be Unfinished

One of the hardest lessons for me was learning that not everything needs to be resolved right now. Emails can wait until tomorrow. Laundry can sit for a day. Some decisions need time to unfold.

Simplicity doesn’t mean perfection — it means peace with imperfection.

When I catch myself spiraling about undone tasks, I remind myself: You can do anything, but not everything today.

And that’s enough.

What Changed

Since simplifying, I feel lighter. Not because my life is suddenly easy, but because it’s clear.

I make fewer decisions, but better ones. I say no without guilt. I spend time on things that genuinely matter — not the things that just fill space.

My home feels calmer. My mind does too.

If you want to start small, try this:

Reevaluate what matters most right now.
Read Essentialism — it teaches you how to create focus and protect it.
Simplify one part of your physical space.
Browse through The Kinfolk Home for inspiration — it’s not just décor, it’s a mindset: peaceful, deliberate, and slow.

You don’t need to control everything to live intentionally. You just need to choose fewer, better things — and let the rest fall away.